Spoonerisms

Spoonerisms are words or phrases in which letters or syllables get swapped. This often happens accidentally in slips of the tongue (or tips of the slung as Spoonerisms are often affectionately called!).

Spoonerisms are named after the Reverend W. A. Spooner (1844-1930) who was Dean and Warden of New College in Oxford, England. He is reputed to have made these verbal slips frequently.

Reverend Spooner's tendency to get words and sounds crossed up could happen at any time, but especially when he was agitated. He reprimanded one student for "fighting a liar in the quadrangle" and another who "hissed my mystery lecture." (Missed my history lecture). To the latter he added in disgust, "You have tasted two worms." (You have wasted two terms)

Patriotic fervour excited Spooner as well. He raised his toast to Her Highness Victoria: "Three cheers for our queer old dean!" (Three cheers for our dear old Queen). During WWI he reassured his students, "When our boys come home from France, we will have the hags flung out." And he lionised Britain's farmers as "noble tons of soil."

His goofs at chapel were legendary. Officiating at a wedding, he prompted a hesitant bridegroom, "Son, it is now kisstomary to cuss the bride." And to a stranger seated in the wrong place: "I believe you're occupewing my pie. May I sew you to another sheet?"

More Funny Spoonerisms:
know your blows - blow your nose
go and shake a tower - go and take a shower
tease my ears - ease my tears
it's roaring with pain - it's pouring with rain
sealing the hick - healing the sick
pit nicking - nit picking
hypodemic nurdle - hypodermic needle
wave the sails - save the whales
I'm shout of the hour - I'm out of the shower
this is the pun fart - this is the fun part

Prinderella and the Cinceby - by Colonel Stoopnagle
Here, indeed, is a story that'll make your cresh fleep. It will give you poose gimples. Think of a poor little glip of a surl, prairie vitty, who, just because she had two sisty uglers, had to flop the more, clinkle the shuvvers out of the stitchen cove and do all the other chasty nores, while her soamly histers went to a drancy bess fall. Wasn't that a shirty dame?

Can you figure these ones out:

flutter by
bedding wells
I must mend the sail
cop porn
it crawls through the fax
my zips are lipped
would you like a nasal hut?